It’s no secret: literary critics are tough nuts to crack. Most of them are long gone, and all they’ve left behind is a bunch of mumbo jumbo that even the most intellectual tweed-wearer has a tough time deciphering. But these smartypants brought about new ways of reading old books, and they’re definitely worth a closer look.

Grad students and professors will be squealing with delight: Shmoop, a publisher of digital curriculum and online test prep, has announced the launch of an entire section devoted just to these brilliant—and terrifying—ladies and gents. It turns out that when critics get to work on their online profiles, they really let their hair down.

Here’s just some of the excitement found in Shmoop’s free Guides to Literary Critics:

•     Foucault’s notes for his next book: “The Mall of America and the Destruction of the Human Soul”
•     Confidential logs from Freud’s therapy sessions with his most famous clients
•     Harold Bloom’s all-too-revealing diary
•     Judith Butler’s picks for the “Top 5 Gender-Bending Films”
•     Roland Barthes’s live blog of “The Bachelorette”
•     A sneak peek of Derrida’s latest hit: “DeconWHATtion?!: Derrida Reveals All”
•     Stanley Fish’s notes on why he really hates Volvos
•     Simone de Beauvoir’s journal, where she reveals everything that she hides from her main squeeze, Jean-Paul Sartre
•     Jacques Lacan’s seminar on “The Psychoanalyst as Rock Star”

All these folks are ripe for name-dropping, sure. But now, thanks to Shmoop, it’s possible to know what on earth they’re saying. Join the conversation by checking out Shmoop’s Guides to Literary Critics,http://www.shmoop.com/literary-critics/.

It’s hard to imagine, but there was a time when a person patronizing a frozen yogurt establishment would have to ask some goober behind the counter to prepare their dessert for them. Now, of course, one can fill their cup with whatever (and as many) flavors as they desire, load it up with a sickening combination of Butterfinger, gummy worms and Cap’n Crunch cereal, and then top it off with a half-pint of caramel syrup. Mmm … freedom is delicious.

The point is that things are simply better when it can be done without anyone else butting in. One gets that warm, comforting sense of accomplishment, and can revel in the convenience and flexibility of his or her own decision-making.

Shmoop, a publisher of digital curriculum and test prep, understands that some people have an aversion to handholding. It makes sense—there’s not always a bottle of Purell handy. So the company is introducing a new self-serve system, which allows users to immediately set up an account and get started, all by their lonesome. No goober behind the counter.

Here are some of the delectable features that the new system offers:

•  Quick and easy credit card or PayPal set-up. It couldn’t be any easier if a representative from Shmoop came to a user’s house, went into their wallet, and extracted their credit card. Not that they ever do that sort of thing.

• Instant access to engaging, humorous test prep. Great for anyone who loves to laugh and learn at the same time. And if they can simultaneously rub their stomach and pat their head as well, there’s probably a guest appearance on Letterman with their name on it.

•  Topic reviews, practice drills, and full-length practice exams. Shmoop simulates the test-taking experience, so a test-taker doesn’t have to feel overwhelmed or intimidated when presented with the real thing. Once they get their name right, they’ll be home free.

• Test-taking strategies. There’s a lot that goes into succeeding on a standardized test besides merely knowing the information. Shmoop will prepare students by giving them helpful tips for the day before and day of the actual test, what areas to focus on, and which end of the pencil to write with.
• Virtual classrooms and analytics. For teachers and administrators, Shmoop offers tools that can be used to track student progress, review problem areas, and keep tabs on usage. It’s the next best thing to looking through the cutout eyeholes of a portrait.

Shmoop would love to suggest that they can provide things “your way, right away,” but Burger King already swooped in and nabbed that one. Suffice it to say that Shmoop’s new self-serve system will put the power in the user’s hands, where it belongs. And that is one tasty proposition. With whipped cream and a cherry on top.

An incubator doesn’t only hatch chickens. It also hatches ideas. Of course, ideas require less electrically controlled heat, so it’s gentler on the utility bill.

No one understands the importance of warmly nurturing hatchlings like the Software & Information Industry Association (SIIA). The association’s Innovation Incubator Program is designed to shine a spotlight on companies that are excelling in educating students with the use of new technologies, and to recognize and reward companies for valuable accomplishments.

But it’s not just a pat on the head and an emphatic, “Good boy!” SIIA personally provides mentoring for those entrepreneurs it deems to be on the cutting edge of online education.

Shmoop, a publisher of digital curriculum and test prep, has been named one of this year’s finalists. SIIA is recognizing Shmoop for its many innovations in learning technology, including the Shmoopsterpiece Theater, where students can learn about a variety of topics by watching fun, informative videos. The company’s test prep helps prepare students for the SAT*, ACT®, and all of the AP* exams—in other words, all things college readiness. Additionally, personalized dashboards and diagnostics help students soak up knowledge like a Bounty-brand paper towel. It’s called the quicker picker-upper for a reason.

Shmoop already reaches more than 1,000 schools and districts and has plans to grow even further. There aren’t any schools on Mars yet, but as soon as there are, Shmoop will be on it. There’s no reason that little green men shouldn’t have an opportunity to learn about trigonometric functions, too.

Shmoop looks forward to the mentoring process and is greatly appreciative of the guidance SIIA can offer as the site continues to expand its offerings and improve its online teaching methods. After all, you can’t make a chicken casserole without hatching a few eggs.

Those pesky AP® tests are back. Like a many-headed hydra, AP season is poised and ready to attack, trying to sabotage students with its wily ways… but 20 heads aren’t necessarily better than one.

Students can now slay the beast with access to a wealth of valuable AP guides and test prep materials.Shmoop, a publisher of digital curriculum and test prep, is offering test-takers everything they need to make those exams get down on their scaly knees and beg for mercy.

Diagnostic exams to identify topics that need a little extra TLC (Terrified, Last-second Cramming). But why stop there? Shmoop also provides links to sections to review and drills to complete so students can pump a little cranial iron.

Updated answer explanations that are informative, engaging, and include about 100 percent more links to YouTube cat videos than ever before. Purr, baby, very purr.

Guides to every single AP exam. This includes the “Big Five” (English Literature, English Language, U.S History, Calculus AB, and Statistics) as well as the, uh… “Tiny Three” (Italian Language and Culture, Japanese Language and Culture, and Studio Art: 3-D Design Portfolio).

Guides to AP Calculus AB…and AP Calculus BC. Guides to AP Physics B…and AP Physics C. Guides to AP Microeconomics…and AP Macroeconomics. Guides to AP Spanish Language…and AP Spanish Literature and Culture. Shmoop goes so far above and beyond that they sometimes start to feel a little light-headed due to the change in atmospheric pressure.

Because there’s no point in studying for an exam that doesn’t actually exist, all of Shmoop’s guides are updated to meet the 2013 AP exam requirements. Sorry to anyone who was gearing up to take the AP Unicorns and Ponies exam.

Shmoop has been working tirelessly to keep their AP materials fresh, fun and funny. And just a little funky. (Probably shouldn’t have left them sitting out in the sun for so long.)

The best thing about this hydra? Once it loses one of its heads, it doesn’t regrow another one. Which is fantastic news, because talk about your severe cases of halitosis.

Who goes to an actual store these days? The crowded aisles. The limited inventory. The long lines. The person at the front counting singles or fumbling with his change purse. Really? Hey buddy, it’s called a debit card.

Shmoop, a publisher of digital curriculum and test prep, knows that users would prefer to make purchases without having to change out of their pajamas. With that in mind, Shmoop is happy to announce the opening of its new, official university store. It is 100 percent online, so users can 100 percent avoid all human interaction and contact. Just the way they like it.

The Shmoop “Shtuff Store” will offer a variety of products, from sweatshirts to mugs to iPhone cases. Anyone can hop online and, within seconds, have instant access to whatever Shtuff their little heart desires.

Shmoop will also be offering Shmoint incentives in the near future. “Shmoints” are points that are awarded for achieving or completing various tasks on the site, and can be used as a measuring stick to award bragging rights to particularly Shmoopy individuals. In the Shtuff Store, users will eventually be able to get discounted prices on merchandise by cashing in a number of their Shmoints. So start hoarding them like nuts before a long, hard winter.

Shmoop will be adding hundreds of items to the store, so there will only be more and more opportunities to ensconce oneself in Shmoop paraphernalia, and to liquefy those Shmoints

If a student sees a faded sign by the side of the road that says 15 miles to the Math Shack … then help is straight ahead. That is, for those who are hunting for a product that will help them or their child make mincemeat of the SAT Math section. In other words … for a mathlete who is looking to train their brain with little pain and plenty of gain.

Shmoop, a publisher of digital curriculum and test prep, is proud to offer this new SAT Math practice tool.Math Shack features more than 200 types of problems that will hone a user’s skills in all test areas—Numbers and Operations, Algebra and Functions, Geometry and Measurement, and Statistics and Probability. The probability of Math Shack increasing one’s SAT test score? About 100 percent. And that’s rounding down.

Every problem comes with hints and detailed explanations of the answer, so that if a student didn’t know what in the world they were doing before they started the problem, they will when they’re done. There is also a tracking feature that maintains stats on a student’s progress, and shows them the areas where they may still need work. And it’s guaranteed not to laugh and point and mock the user for any wrong answers.

Math Shack is something like a dojo, a gym, or a training center where one can go to bulk up on smarts. By the time a student leaves, their brain will be absolutely ripped.

Once inside Shmoop’s regular SAT product, Math Shack is instantly accessible. A user can simply jump back and forth between the two as they pump their noggin full of formulas and variables. A student can learn a concept in Shmoop’s SAT Math test prep section, then head immediately over to Math Shack to test out their newfound knowledge on a handful of sample problems. It’s a funky little shack.