Who goes to an actual store these days? The crowded aisles. The limited inventory. The long lines. The person at the front counting singles or fumbling with his change purse. Really? Hey buddy, it’s called a debit card.
Shmoop, a publisher of digital curriculum and test prep, knows that users would prefer to make purchases without having to change out of their pajamas. With that in mind, Shmoop is happy to announce the opening of its new, official university store. It is 100 percent online, so users can 100 percent avoid all human interaction and contact. Just the way they like it.
The Shmoop “Shtuff Store” will offer a variety of products, from sweatshirts to mugs to iPhone cases. Anyone can hop online and, within seconds, have instant access to whatever Shtuff their little heart desires.
Shmoop will also be offering Shmoint incentives in the near future. “Shmoints” are points that are awarded for achieving or completing various tasks on the site, and can be used as a measuring stick to award bragging rights to particularly Shmoopy individuals. In the Shtuff Store, users will eventually be able to get discounted prices on merchandise by cashing in a number of their Shmoints. So start hoarding them like nuts before a long, hard winter.
Shmoop will be adding hundreds of items to the store, so there will only be more and more opportunities to ensconce oneself in Shmoop paraphernalia, and to liquefy those Shmoints