7 Fictional Places We Hope Never Host the Olympics

Hey, Shmoopers,

The Olympics are officially in full swing, which means we’ll be glued to our televisions—or our Kindles?—for the next two weeks. What can we say? We love us some Bob Costas. Sure, Rio hasn’t been the most, uh, idyllic setting so far. But since we like to keep the glass half full, we’ve come up with a list of fictional places that would have been even worse than Rio for this year’s games.

7 Fictional Places We Hope
Never Host the Olympics


1. The Temple of Doom

Unless fedoras were part of the new U.S. Olympic team outfit—and they came with the physique and dashing smile of a young Harrison Ford—we’re pretty sure no one would make it out alive. Plus, people kinda need their hearts to play sports. Or so we hear.

2. Jurassic Park

Considering the T. rex could run 45 MPH and the fastest human alive reaches about 30 MPH (which, still, wow), it probably wouldn’t turn out too well for the competitors. Although at least we’d get to hear the John Williams score during every single medal ceremony. Never gets old.

3. Basically Anywhere Odysseus Went

Sure, he was in the Olympus neighborhood, but there were a few too many mishaps along the way for our liking. Imagine how many athletes would get distracted by those Sirens. Or what Circe might turn the U.S. gymnastics team into. And we definitely wouldn’t want to run into a Cyclops on our way to the Olympic Village—let alone a whole gaggle of ’em. All in all, not a pretty image.

4. Mordor

Yes, it would be every Shmooper’s dream come true. But we hear most of the world is terrified of Orcs. Plus, we all know the Olympics have five rings. How would they choose the One Ring to rule them all?

5. Someone Else’s Dreams

Inception is cool in theory, but we saw the shenanigans that went down in Cobb’s brain. Nothing we’d like to try to swim a lap to.

6. Dante’s Inferno


7. Brave New World‘s London

Doping is already enough of a problem. Add soma to the mix and basically every competitor would be disqualified. Or not, depending on how the ruling went.

What other fictional places make Rio look like a dream come true? Let us know on Twitter or Facebook with the hashtag #ShmoopOlympics.



Quote of the Week

“You’ve got to put your body on the line. Remember our motto: If you want to be the best, you’ve got to take out the best.”

~ Grace, Gold, and Glory

Sing it, Gabby.


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