Best Desert Island Companions

What if we told you that you could take an all-expenses paid trip to a desert island with a group of friends?  What would you pack? What would you wear? And most importantly, who would you bring?  We already covered who we wouldn’t want to bring, but we’re not anti-social, Tom Hanks-esque castaways. No, we’ve got the perfect list of companions for our desert island retreat.

1. The White Witch, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

The first word in desert island is desert, and that means those suckers can get toasty.  What would be better (and more convenient) than having a witch who can create eternal winters serve as your air conditioning unit? Just don’t get on her bad side. Things might get a little too chilly.

2. Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Holly would definitely be able to put together some awesome parties from stuff found on the island.  Who needs the Professor making fake coconut radios when your girl Holly can make you a piña colada? Girls just want to have fun, are we right?

3. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter series

Besides the fact that Hermione is one of the best characters ever, she has a lot of skills and talents that would be useful on an island. Between her encyclopedia knowledge of spells, her bag that can hold a never-ending amount of items, and her extensive knowledge of plants from taking Herbology classes, she would make sure everyone had a magical time, and even would be able to apparate us off once we got tired of Holly’s existential crisis. 10 points to Gryffindor!

4. Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

It’s common knowledge that when a group of people is in isolation for too long, some conflict can emerge.  (See: Lord of the Flies.) In addition to providing excellent eye candy by looking like the smoking Gregory Peck, Atticus is a great lawyer and mediator who would be able to settle any arguments and prevent things from escalating.

5. Tris Prior, Divergent

 Photo from Entertainment Weekly.

Tris is an all-around kick-butt lady.  She has an extensive knowledge of weapons and self-defense techniques from her Dauntless initiation training.  Plus she is super loyal and selfless (despite her claims otherwise) so she will always be willing to take one for the team.  We mean, a girl basically without fear? Totally someone we want on our island shortlist.

6. Feste, Twelfth Night

This character is a fool.  No, the kind that Mr. T likes to pity, but that archetypal figure who serves as comic relief by cracking jokes about everyone around them.  That sounds like even better entertainment than cable TV. You know, unless he makes fun of The White Witch. Then we might be in for a cold, er, treat.

How about you, Shmoopers? Who would you take with you to a desert island?

Worst Desert Island Companions

During summer break, we love to fantasize about a getaway to a nice tropical island far away from summer homework, our Shmoop SAT flashcards, and our younger siblings for whom we have to wake up at an ungodly hour to drive to summer camp.  A tropical vacay sounds like a sweet deal, Shmoopers, but depending on the company it could turn sour really fast.  Here’s a list of the people we definitely would not want to be stuck on a desert island with.

1. Jack, Lord of the Flies

We don’t know about you, but we like our guts and want to keep them inside of our bodies.  That means not having spears thrown at us by an English boy wearing face paint.

2. Macbeth, Macbeth

What’s even scarier than getting spears thrown at you by a schoolboy wearing face paint? A storied war hero who believes in some witchy mumbo jumbo and proceeds to hire murderers to assassinate you so he can control the hypothetical island.  Gulp.

3. East Side Greasers, The Outsiders

Too much testosterone, too little square footage.

4. Queen of Hearts, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass

Because (1) we don’t know how long we would be willing to play croquet with flamingos for and (2) we don’t want to have to deal with the consequences once we find out.

5. Elwin Lepellier, A Separate Peace

The thought of PTSD-having Leper jumping out at us from the jungle on island with mud all over his face is enough to give us nightmares for weeks…or maybe our own PTSD.

6. Daisy Buchanan, The Great Gatsby

Things we don’t want to deal with:

  • Daisy’s crying

  • Daisy’s inability to make a decision

  • Daisy’s issues with getting her white dresses dirty (and not just in the metaphorical way)

  • Her husband’s rage if we looked at her the wrong way (It was an eyeroll, we swear!)

How about you, Shmoopers? Who’s on your I’d-rather-share-a-tiny-boat-with-a-tiger-and-take-my-chances-than-stay-here-on-this-island list?

Stay tuned for our list of the BEST island companions.